The Unhealthy Sibling Rivalry

7:37 PM Unknown 0 Comments


Few weeks ago, my brother got married. It’s only a civil wedding given the situation that he got his girlfriend pregnant. I didn't go to his wedding anyhow. I just told everyone that I’m busy but honestly, I was only in room, sitting in front of my computer. I know that’s rude, I should’ve gone to his wedding no matter how much I hate him. It may be because of our unhealthy sibling rivalry or all of the things that he’d done to me for the past decade, or maybe both. You might think that sibling rivalry is just normal but there is growing evidence that in a minority of cases, sibling warfare becomes a form of repeated, inescapable and emotionally damaging abuse. Just like what happened to me.
I know competition between siblings is very common. It is just a normal part of growing up in a family. We all say that sibling rivalry is perfectly fine and healthy, but there can be times that it becomes dangerous.  It may lead to severe physical violence, psychological distress, serious illness and disability in siblings.
Based on my research about sibling rivalry, it’s always about what parents can do. What can I say; I’m a little bit bummed about it. What parents can do? Then, How about ‘what the person who’s experiencing it can do’ besides telling my parents who doesn't do anything about it? Because honestly, I've tried to talk to them and they said that they’ll do something about it. Blablabla. They did nothing. They didn't even try. All they did is that, talked to me, asked what I want and such, offered some useless gadgets I don’t even need and don’t even want.

Of course I didn't accept their ‘bribe’. First, as I said, I’m not interested. Second, it would only make things worse. My brother would be jealous of those things, etc. My counselors already talked to my mom, but then, nothing really happened. I even tried to cut myself just to prove my point, to let them see that I am hurt not just physically but emotionally as well. Since I don’t have evidence regarding my emotional hurt, I tried to let them see that I’m crying out for help through these physical pains. Honestly, it’s kind of addicting. My body craves for the stinging pain.


Anyway, this sibling rivalry affected my life a lot more than I want to. I've always thought that my brother would always protect me which is the exact opposite of what’s been happening. The things that my brother did to me would always be engraved into my mind but I hope that someday, I would be able to get past all those bad memories.

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My Downward Spiral Part 1

5:45 PM Unknown 0 Comments


Obviously, it’s been too long since I posted a ‘real’ blog post. For the past few weeks or even months, I wasn't able to write an ‘acceptable’ post due to a lot of reasons. This semester, I wasn't feeling like myself. I've done things I know I shouldn't have yet I didn't give a damn about it.

This month, I've only wrote to join blog competitions and earn free movie tickets. It’s annoying. I created this blog as an outlet yet after reviewing my entire posts for the past few months, it didn't seem that way. I've been trying to write this post for a week now. There are times that I even wake up in the middle of the night feeling that I’m in the mood in writing this. Clearly, this topic is something that I couldn't write in one sitting (or maybe I could?)

Downward Spiral, a depressive state where the person is depressed and it keeps on getting worse. I got past this state. I think. I’m not even sure but if there’s one thing I’m sure about, it’s the people that are here by my side, knowing that I could always count on them.

Even though I have my reasons, I know I've done things that aren't acceptable that even I can’t believe that I did it. If you have read my blog post, Understanding Depression, you’ll know that I have depression for quite some time now but I never thought that it would get worse to the point that I’m inflicting physical pain on myself. Yep, Self-Harming. I never thought I would do this. If someone told me a year ago that I would cut myself, I would have laugh in their face. Back then, I never understand the point of harming oneself until I realized that I’m doing it. My counselor told me that it’s a silent cry for help. For me, it’s kind of releasing some of my distress and it gave me a temporary relief.

Thankfully, I've stop doing it. My counselor ever wrote a contract to bind our agreement about this. Luckily, the scars in my arms aren't that visible anymore unless you’re actually going to look for it otherwise, it’s not noticeable. For days, I wasn't allowed to be alone in everything. Technically, I didn't have my privacy which is a very important thing for me. I always have someone by my side, literally, so I wouldn't do any kind of self harming even though I swore I won’t.


And that is only the beginning of my downward spiral...

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OneRepublic LIVE in Manila #OneRepublicMNL

3:31 AM Unknown 0 Comments

Hey you know what's cool? Handing me those free tickets to see One Republic live and sparing the peasants the pain of not having any. Please help a brotha out.

My Mini Confessions For One Republic:

1. I illegally downloaded their whole album! I'm the truest fan because I'm willing to get arrested for this band.
2. I aggressively try to sing the lead vocals and back up vocal at the same time. (If you think that's not the tightest shit then get out of my face.)
3. There are times that I even sing the instrumentals. (Take that Biz Markie!)
4. I tried to learn all the instrument that Ryan Tedder plays.

What Are My Top Five OneRepublic Songs?

Secrets 

This one has been one of my favorites especially because of the movie, The Sorcerer's Apprentice, where it was played through Tesla Coil. It's definitely one of the best scenes! I didn't know about that song at the time, but I was instantly hooked.

Mercy

This is one is my current favorite. I felt like I'm recovering little by little because of my downward spiral with the help of all of my friends and families. These loved ones are my angel of mercy and I can't be grateful enough  to know that they're always here by my side to help and guide me along the right path.

All The Right Moves 

What I love about this song is that it taught me to accept that I'll never be good at everything. There are people who will always be better than me. It may be a bit bittersweet that no matter how hard I try to be better at something, I'll never be as good as the 'Perfects'. Well, that's how I interpret the song.

Apologize 

This song has lots and lots of dance cover. I can't blame them, it's a real good music. Even though the song is sad and I can't relate to it that much, I could still feel the emotions emanating from the lyrics. 

Feel Again

Whenever I'm sad and I just listen to this song and it instantly makes me smile. Somehow, I could imagine the how the persona felt when he found what he's looking for and made his numb heart feel again.


Why Do I look Forward to Watch them perform live?

Because to watch them perform on that freakin' stage won't be just a performance. It'd be an out-of-this-world experience. People watching the concert would feel at one with the world and lose track of the time. So lost, that a zombie apocalypse has started and we still won't know it.

One Republic performing live at the Araneta Coliseum will lead to an increase in personal awareness and understand and can serve as a turning point in a person's life. Just listening to their song with my ipod generates positive emotions and it's intrinsically rewarding. Imagining Ryan Tedder gracing the stage with his glorious presence...Oh how blessed we are to bask in the glory of his talent and the band.  Please Help A Brotha Out.


And on the 7th day, God said "Let there be One Republic". Thank you God, for giving us such blessings.

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Real UnliCHAT Experience with Globe’s GoUnli30

8:50 PM Unknown 0 Comments

Remember my last post about Globe's Promo for us? Here's another one. Globe's GoUnli30 is here and I love it! I can text all my friends no matter what network they use. I can call all my Globe or TM user friends all the time without no worries because guess what? It’s unlimited! I can also use my Viber and Facebook Chat any time! And those are not the only apps they’re offering. We can also use Kakao Talk, WeChat, Line, WhatsApp and the GMessage – the own message apps of Globe - all these Apps without the need to use the WiFi connection.



There’s no more need for me to find a place that offers free WiFi whenever I need to use one of those apps. From Unlimited Texts to all networks plus Unlimited Calls to Globe and TM user up to Unlimited use of all those Apps said above for only 30 pesos for 1 day! I can’t ask for more!



I love texting all my friends to stay connected with them. Sadly, not everyone has always-available time, and not everyone loves texting as much as I do. Unlimited Calls is the solution for that matter. It’s more convenient, fast, and effortless. However when the messaging apps came, and I couldn’t blame it, it’s more fun with all those emoticons, we use it all the time if and only if, we both have internet connection. Now, with the use of Globe’s Promo, we can use it all the time.

I’m really thankful with my telecom’s offer. I’m really glad they made this.


With GoUNLI30, subscribers get unlimited texts to all networks, unlimited calls to Globe/TM, and unlimited chat with the best messaging apps like Viber, Kakao Talk, Facebook Messenger, WhatsApp, WeChat, Line and the telco’s very own messaging app GMessage without the need for Wi-Fi or additional data charges. Available for only P30 valid for 1 day, GoUNLI30 gives you no excuse to stay out of the loop and connect with more than 1 billion users around the world regardless of mobile network or location.


Go all-out unlimited with GoUNLI30 and UNLICHAT25 now. Register by dialing *143# and then choosing GoSAKTO on your Globe mobile phone or texting GOUNLI30 or UNLICHAT25 to 8888

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