It Is Never Too Late

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It Is Never Too Late To Have A Fresh Start With God.

Three years ago, I was struggling with my religion. My parents were once a part of a Catholic group named, Couples For Christ (CFC). I grew up with that kind of community to influence me a bit. I sometimes, got a chance to go with their prayer meetings when I was little. I could still remember their praises and songs.
When I went to high school  my mom worked abroad which also made my father to stop attending the prayer meetings since he wasn't so much of a strong believer. My mom was always the one who encourages him to go. Long story short, after my mom left, he never went to those prayer meetings and we don't go to church anymore.

By that time, my faith was weak. I became an Agnostic. Even though I studied at a Catholic School, it didn't really affect me. Sure, studying about the lives of different saints is inspiring but it kept me thinking if can't we just be a good person even without a God, or if there is, at least we could go to heaven or wherever we have to go if we were a better person.

Then when I started as a freshman in college, I met someone who introduced me into satanism. It was really different to what I believed in the past years, they say that demons are well...the opposite. They even have a website (you can ask me if you're curious) where they have this teachings and meditations.
It wasn't about praising Satan or the demons. Their goal is to empower yourself through meditation and open your eyes to what is happening to the nature and the energy of the earth. They said something about wandering spirits which I could really really relate.

In short, it was the kind of thing I want.

For almost 2 years and a half, I became almost a satanist. Almost. They have this ritual that makes you a real satanist. I didn't do it. I admit I'm still scared that this might be something that I don't really want. Instead, I just keep on doing the meditations and indeed, I empowered myself in a way I couldn't imagine. A little bit.
They have different kinds of meditation. For those who are beginners, intermediate, and for those who could do a lot. I was only on the beginner state, no matter how hard I try. Maybe before I get to the intermediate level, I would have to do the ritual.

Anyway, I just stopped. I don't even know why. Maybe it's because of our tight schedule in class or maybe I'm just making excuses. Since I started in Satanism, I can't tell a single soul about this. I know what their reaction would be. So it felt like a tiny bubble at first and it kept on growing until it felt like I couldn't hold it anymore.

Then I said about it with my ex-boyfriend (he's my boyfriend at that time). He's not much of an active Catholic either, so I thought maybe his reaction wouldn't be so bad. I have never been so wrong. Anyway, from then on, my ex-boyfriend became super religious and started to give me advice and such. It became really annoying.

Before we broke up, he gave me a book entitled, The Purpose Driven Life. It was only this vacation, when I started to read it. That book was something. Made me turn around 180 degrees and tried to see the real thing. The Bigger picture. I can't tell you enough how grateful I am to the person who gave me this book, to the person who wrote this book, and to God who never gave up on me.

Indeed, It Is Never Too Late Too Have A Fresh Start With God.