Few weeks ago, my brother got married. It’s only a civil wedding given the situation that he got his girlfriend pregnant. I didn't go to his wedding anyhow. I just told everyone that I’m busy but honestly, I was only in room, sitting in front of my computer. I know that’s rude, I should’ve gone to his wedding no matter how much I hate him. It may be because of our unhealthy sibling rivalry or all of the things that he’d done to me for the past decade, or maybe both. You might think that sibling rivalry is just normal but there is growing evidence that in a minority of cases, sibling warfare becomes a form of repeated, inescapable and emotionally damaging abuse. Just like what happened to me.

I know competition between siblings is very common. It is just a normal part of growing up in a family. We all say that sibling rivalry is perfectly fine and healthy, but there can be times that it becomes dangerous.  It may lead to severe physical violence, psychological distress, serious illness and disability in siblings.

Based on my research about sibling rivalry, it’s always about what parents can do. What can I say; I’m a little bit bummed about it. What parents can do? Then, How about ‘what the person who’s experiencing it can do’ besides telling my parents who doesn't do anything about it? Because honestly, I've tried to talk to them and they said that they’ll do something about it. Blablabla. They did nothing. They didn't even try. All they did is that, talked to me, asked what I want and such, offered some useless gadgets I don’t even need and don’t even want.

Of course I didn't accept their ‘bribe’. First, as I said, I’m not interested. Second, it would only make things worse. My brother would be jealous of those things, etc. My counselors already talked to my mom, but then, nothing really happened. I even tried to cut myself just to prove my point, to let them see that I am hurt not just physically but emotionally as well. Since I don’t have evidence regarding my emotional hurt, I tried to let them see that I’m crying out for help through these physical pains. Honestly, it’s kind of addicting. My body craves for the stinging pain.

Anyway, this sibling rivalry affected my life a lot more than I want to. I've always thought that my brother would always protect me which is the exact opposite of what’s been happening. The things that my brother did to me would always be engraved into my mind but I hope that someday, I would be able to get past all those bad memories.